The Future ?

I have recently heard that I will join the military and I have no thoughts on it except for the training as that will be the hardest part. The time I've spent on the earth will have a purpose but there may be doubt. I think that it is just a way to get away from me but when given an order I follow. The day I leave I will not acknowledge thanks but disappointment. The disappointment that I will never be anything but another soldier waiting to kill. That was the mentality that I grew up with, the joy to not make my decisions, the fear of questioning others. I was taught not to think and I think that was the best Idea. Inside I'm laughing when I write this, I remember when I was asked a retorical question I would say I think... They would say your not supposed to think. What is life without thought? Perfection? We'll see.

Crazy Article

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Quotes

Hate must make a man productive. Otherwise one might as well love. ~Karl Kraus


All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first. ~James Thurber


Hatred is one long wait. ~René Maran

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. ~Herman Hesse

End discrimination. Hate everybody. ~Elle Eden


A loving heart heals hate. ~Jareb Teague

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate. ~Socrates

My favorite Poet Speaks On Love

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~Edgar Allan Poe

My love life

The butterfly flys
The lion lays
The living lies
walking to you is a dream
why do you smile
you talk to me
my hopes rise
I wait a while
you say:
I want him
he is cool

I say yea he is
I die
I say see you another day

ANOTHER DAY
Another girl
walking to you is a dream
why do you smile
I see the angel in you
She comes by me
my hopes rise
she's just looking for something
I hide all my feelings

ANOTHER DAY
Another girl
walking to you is a dream
why do you smile
I hear you talk of life
I see you laugh
In my mind
my hopes rise
the girl looks at me
and walks away

THE LAST DAY
the question arises
why

THE NEXT DAY
she looks at me
I walk away.

The poem

The love
the smile
the tears
my fears
all a lie

Save Me.......Save Me........Save Me.......Why?????Why????Why???? You left me to suffer you left me to grow Did you see everyday I suffer I can't remember the first time my feelings mixed but I know it is going to ruin me. All of you see an average kid but have you ever questioned why I don't show my opinions of you. I will express them one day and you won't like it. I suffer I cry inside because I am lost and you left me to die. The time will come one day when you realize that experience doesn't always make you smart. Time will show how we will emerge but why is the only question in my mind. We are taught to ask questions but discouraged by the people who can answer them and this has caused my confusion and hatred. I wish to say that I hate but I don't not enough to make any difference. All there is is a shell that has no goal, no ambition ,no anything, All I have is the orders you provide AND THE FEELING OF TIREDNESS.

Changing Youth

The end will come if we don't learn and grow. We can become great people for the future of others if we find that special person. The fate we believe in can be altered and we need someone or something to keep us going and for my future is you. That was the initial reason for making this audio slide show other than it was a class assignment. The world is changing and we rarely see it. The project was important because it brings us together, not only as strangers but as humans. We can see each other and that is important. It's time to show the world that we aren't only about internet porn but we are a new army of intelligent people who will bring the world into a bright light, We are the future and should be treated like it. The world is changing, Youth is changing. We showed that a Rose can grow from concrete and a bird can emerge through the flames. This is one person's story that we can all relate to thus I say it's time to acknowledge the presence of others.

HATE

The time has come to tell you my change and the way that I have grew. I can barely hold any feelings. I have one that I miss and that is Hate. It motivated me to do things and plan out goals but no now my life is shell only going through life as a ghost, not caring and like the plane commercial not wishing to be here. The current situation is that I get yelled at all the time and cussed out almost everyday. I use to use the hidden hatred to keep me going and then a day came when I lost it. All the fury that made me strong, that made me different was gone. I miss the power the killer in me the one who was there to give me security and for this reason I am a weak child with no authority who will go through life following, never sure how to lead and always the thoughts of destruction but nothing more just the after thought, the shell.

I learned the true meaning of Hate as a little kid through examples set down and those times have disappeared so much so that in life I see people wishing that they could have done something different and wishing that they hadn't done something, all I see is regret and this is what I will experience in our communist world. People call this democracy but the use of communist ideas has been rising in business through the selfish wants what now, the end is pursued and when gotton is made of REGRET.

Fear Is Power and Destruction

When you have fear you can use it to your advantage and therefore it is power. You can call it to raise your hatred and also turn you into a figure of ultimate power. Is this good? You may ask but there is something we must understand and that is we destroy what we fear and isn't that wrong? The true strength comes when you conquer your fear and that is why Fear is the emotion we can expect until death. Fear can bring the humanity of a person down but it can also save mankind or it could have. In the past fear propelled us to help others because we feared for other's safety and now the question is, where is the help of others and the answer is that once people stopped being afraid then they stopped caring for others and started living for themselves. I am not saying that fear is good and the concept of creating fear is wrong but we must understand that without one emotion we will eventually die out and life will be lived only for one's own self. The fear pushes us to act and without it we make mistakes, so I say we must realize our fears and work to neutralize them but not fully destroy them.

The concept of fear is dangerous because it can destroy the very humanity that it seeks to caution. Fear brings about competition and hatred not only for ourselves but for others. This causes fights, deaths and war. These topics are all alike for one reason and that is because of fear. We fear that someone else is better and therefore we must destroy them . Can we overturn the fear of others? Yes, but we must first dispel the anger and sense of superiorty. This can seem impossible. It can happen with learning and teaching, not only from teachers but from us to all people no matter race nor ethnicity. We are all equal and therefore we must treat others as if they are too. The only way to bring change is to work together and for this we need to befriend our neighbor and those annoying kids down the street. WE NEED TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THE FUTURE TODAY. Fear is strong and it shuts our lives down and I say FACE YOUR FEARS AND THEN TEACH OTHERS TO DO THE SAME. I want to follow a leader who can confront everyone and say we will live together in peace free from the chains of hatred and this is only done by someone who has faced all of our fears.

Idle Thoughts On Racism

The perception that some races are rascist is true to some extent and that is what we all know but what causes it? It could be the ways we are brought up on the beliefs that our parents had or it could be that the people trying to shut it down are hippocrits always bringing it back. Examples of this are people bringing about the "N" words, it is still wrong to say it but black people say it all the time and if they want to stop racism then they should stop using it. The ultimate reason that the racism has survived to this day is because certain ethnic groups perfer to show dominance and blame other groups for their mistakes. The white racism was of past and people should realize that but that doesn't mean that they should forget it. The new racism that no one seems to see is the hostility that comes from colored people (black,latino,etc.) that don't seem to believe that people can change. I believe that music that uses race to further itself is the problem because it tells white kids and other kids to say the "N" word. I know from experience that when a kid says a new word, it has no meaning for them until they can get any reaction. The first time I said that word, I hadn't ever heard it before and I had repeated it from a black student. He felt threatened guess how I felt, scared. Was it my fault that I became racist because I repeated a word another student had said.

I am racist in my own way. I will never utter my thoughts but I can tell there are feelings that could bring hate from and others. The way to stop racism is to bring knowledge and understanding. That means unnecessary words such as the "N" word and words like wetback, paisa and even retard needs to disappear because it infects us to such feelings of hate and disgust which also brings violence. That is my perspective and if there are any comments please write.

Lunch Anger

I used to get mad easy and I thought that I had reformed but today at lunch I found myself hating a group of kids who cut in the line, it was a natural occurance but the thing that was different was that the kids were laughing and playing as though the twenty people behind them didn't matter and that pissed me off. To get worse the cafeteria only had soggy tacos which fell apart when I tried to pick them up and When I asked a lunch lady if I could get a fork she told me to go to another lunch lady to get the fork and said that it might cost 40 cents. That was the last straw, first of all there were forks next to her,second my lunch costs 40 cents and sometimes i can't eat lunch cause i don't have enough money. Do you know how I felt? I thought why do I have to pay 40 cents, do I have to eat the fork too?! I went to the other lady who gave the tacos and said I needed a fork cause it was breaking a part guess what she did, She gave me a look like it was my fucking fault. That's right I made the taco soggy. Lucky thing that I didn't have to pay fvor the fork or else I might Have said something bad.

Love Is A Smile Away

The concept of love can seem strong but at times it is overrated and can produce hate more than encouragement and I know this through experience. I can get jealous easy and I remember a time when people who had been going out just got me pissed. I would always say, what about me isn't there someone who could love me. The anger and resentment would rise and one day I had open my eyes and say why care. The way that i live by is to not care and until recently I didn't and then my friend got screwed and told her LOVE IS JUST A SMILE AWAY I guess that
brightened her day cause she said she was going to put it as her senior quote and I felt happy that she cared. Smile and others will too and therefore you spread love. It has gotten into my skin that i never smile at my crush and it saddens me that i don't, well i can't show her my love but life moves on and in 3 months I'm gone as if I was never even there. That smile is always there even when my crush is walking away, Her smile is there for my tomorrow.

Who I Am

I am a kid
I am a revolutionary
I am a poet
I am a stranger.
To tell you the truth I go T-High in Hayward and I think differently from people here and that kind of alienates me just by my own thoughts. I will be writing to inform and to show that I can say stuff that people don't know about me. I can say that you will learn more later.