The Future ?

I have recently heard that I will join the military and I have no thoughts on it except for the training as that will be the hardest part. The time I've spent on the earth will have a purpose but there may be doubt. I think that it is just a way to get away from me but when given an order I follow. The day I leave I will not acknowledge thanks but disappointment. The disappointment that I will never be anything but another soldier waiting to kill. That was the mentality that I grew up with, the joy to not make my decisions, the fear of questioning others. I was taught not to think and I think that was the best Idea. Inside I'm laughing when I write this, I remember when I was asked a retorical question I would say I think... They would say your not supposed to think. What is life without thought? Perfection? We'll see.